


おそれずに行こう

by Milana16



Series: NHK'17 PTSD Treatment for Fans [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: And some more comfort, Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Moody Yuzu TW, NHK'17 TW, Older Sisters TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milana16/pseuds/Milana16
Summary: AU in which Yuzu went straight back to Sendai, instead of waiting for a day to give the interview, and in which Hanyu family share the Moody Yuzu suffering with Yumi (and Saya has none of her little brother's bs)





	おそれずに行こう

**Author's Note:**

> All the RPF warnings apply, the portrayed characters are only creations of my imagination and in no way claim to be truthful portrayal of the real people.
> 
> That being out of the way... Who else wished for a whole Yuzu family to have long overdue family holidays, so that at least SOMEBODY could have positive outcome from the WD?
> 
> (Also, random Japanese title is random, and I'm sorry for excessive usage of Kana-it was taken from the 'FROGS' musical song and roughly translated means "Let's go without fear". I strongly suggest you look up the song (same title), as a lot of lyrics are actually pretty cheesy but also fitting for the description of feelings of a Fanyu during second 14-15 season (only first half, please, and thank you skating gods)

Replay.

 

__‘...unusual accident during the practice.’_ _

Yes, the axis was definitely ugly.

Replay.

__‘...accident during practice.’_ _

What’s with this pick? It wasn’t nice...

Replay.

__‘...accident during practice.’_ _

The speed and elevation wouldn’t be enough even for a decent triple.

Replay.

__‘...accident during-’_ _

The phone is yanked from his hands, replaced by his sister’s exasperated face.

‘Hey!’

‘If I heard that one more time, I would smash it to pieces.You either stop replaying it right now, or beg mom for a new phone. Your choice.’ Saya proposed in a deadpan voice.

Yuzuru stopped with his hands still outstretched towards the device.

‘Sorry, I can use earphones. Or mute it.’ He finally says, he did forget how thin the walls in Japan are.

Saya gave one pessimistic look at the screen of his phone.

‘You have ones that fit this kind of weak quality video?’ She asked, then to Yuzuru’s annoyment, tapped the screen few times, turning the video off.

‘Hey-’

‘You’ve already jumped it, didn’t you?’ Saya said dismissively, before very unlady-like plopping down on his bed, jostling his ankle. ‘Sorry.’ she added, readjusting ice-pack after it slipped, ignoring grimace on Yuzuru’s face.

‘I can do it myself’

‘And I can do it as well. So?’ Saya answered with a grin and Yuzuru whined.

‘I’m no longer a kid!’

‘You are a kid. Who’s twenty six this year, you or me? Holy shit I’m old.’

‘Did you just curse?’

‘It’s not the part you should be protesting at!’ Saya pouted and Yuzuru sighed.

‘If you are old then Voronov-san is grandpa. And he just won NHK.’

‘And my boyfriend still thinks Axel is some kind of foreign dish.’

Yuzuru stared. Saya looked back at him with a smile. He found himself asking.

‘Why?’

‘Because I told him you’re eating them on breakfast.’

‘What.’

‘Bad habits, bad habits...’ Saya shrugged. ‘I forgot people who do not breathe skating exist.’

‘Saya...’ Yuzuru swallowed a bile in his throat.

When he calmed down after making a decision on withdrawing, and proposed to his mom to go back to Sendai, since they finally are in Japan for longer without any expectations or obligations to be elsewhere, he was almost relieved; the trip, the plane tickets, they weren’t totally wasted because of his stupid ankle. Now, he became aware of how much a dickhead train of thought it was. For someone insisting his mother is a walking miracle, he really was horrible for the rest of his family, going as far as treating them as replacement for skating...

‘Plus, it was funny, seeing his reaction when he connected dots and discovered he’s dating Olympian’s sister.’ Saya flicked his forehead. ‘I hoped you would stop overthinking when I tell you that, but you of course have to fill your big head with something awful, don’t you?’

‘It’s not big. And I’m not filling it up.’ is the weak retort he managed, and Saya tutted at him before standing up and moving to the middle of his room, putting hands on her hips, channeling their mother so well Yuzuru almost sat up straighter.

‘DS, not moved from it’s place. Earphones, not moved. Luggage, not unpacked. Crutch from Kikuchi-sensei, dropped out of your sight. Notebooks, not opened. Manga collection, not prepared for reading.’ she stopped to take a breath. ‘Don’t tell me you seriously only rewatched this vid for the past day?’

‘I also watched NHK!’ Yuzuru protested and Saya send him most unimpressed look she probably could muster.

‘Seriously, Yuzu?’

‘It’s important, and Rippon-senshuu jumped Lutz, it was underrotated but he landed well and ended up second, and Voronov-senshu really sold his program, Misha choreographed it really well, and-’ Yuzuru was blabbering, he was becoming aware of it, but Saya’s expression didn’t change.

‘Seriously. Yuzu.’

‘It’s not like I can do all those things...’ Yuzuru grumbled, staring at his turned off device. Saya’s face expression shifted.

‘Now, that’s interesting, somebody scored above 330?’

‘What? No, but-’

‘Oh, so not that one. Short program above 112?’

‘No, nobody got past 100, but-’

‘Then actually what you cannot do? You said, one skater jumped Lutz but it was underrotated, but I remember seeing your score sheet from Russia and you jumped a clean one, right?’

‘Bad landing.’ was instant reply to her. ‘Low knee bend, bad edge pronounciation, not quick enough extension, too long prepara-’

‘Yuzuru.’ his face is cupped in both hands of his sister.  ‘You skated a jump with counter rotative entry, landed it with four revolutions and enough quality not to be deducted, and enough quality to make it even better.’

‘And enough quality to hurt ligament-’

‘With a fever, Yuzu. May I remind you of a certain Ultraman falling on every jump other than single because of a fever? It’s down, by the way, we need to tell mom.’

‘I was six!’

‘And you jumped double axel. The jump that took me more than three years to learn, you stabilized in two.’ Saya let go of his face. ‘Well, you also messed up a triple Flip during Olympic games after aquiring a quad-or should I say two?- so it might mean nothing actually.’

‘You just had to bring it up, didn’t you?’ Yuzuru groaned.

‘I’m your sibling.’ Saya grinned evilly. ‘You don’t give me much opportunities to be mean to you because when we skype it’s always with mom or dad near us.’

‘Weren’t you supposed to be the older, responsible one?’

‘Don’t call a lady old!’

‘I don’t! And you’re not a lady!’

‘That was so childish!’

‘Says who!’

Their banter was interrupted by the sound of front door shutting closed. Saya’s eyes shot to the clock.

‘It’s dad.’ she dropped to her knees to pull the crutch out from under Yuzuru’s bed, where he struck it the day before after arriving. ‘Come on, let’s welcome him back.’

Yuzuru winces when he tenatively shifts his legs, but he presses on, the pain soon changing into annoyment, at how un-fluent his movements are, when he has to count crutch in into his step. Saya snickers beside him, but before she can give some comment, he passes her by, leaping on the left leg and unconsiously praying it won’t mess up his jumping technique. It didn’t mess it up before, but better safe than sorry.

Though, if the pictures from Yuzuruha were some indication, the gods already have their hands full with his fans intentions.

Corner of his mouth lifted a bit. Shirota-san foced him to watch and read that message in his still grieving state, but even his feelings couldn’t subdue the wave of gratefulness he felt. He sent the thank you message back, typing from Shirota-san’s phone and then leaving her with another short message to be used as an announcement.

It didn’t feel like it was enough, but this was all he could do at this time.

‘Welcome back, dad.’ he almost snorted when he understood he unconsciously chorused it with Saya, but he wasn’t the only one; Saya had this very conflicted expression on her face, meanwhile his mother and father looked at them with amusement that soon morphed into something warm and soft, as his father released his mother’s waist (they were hugging) and came forward to side-hug both of his children.

‘I’m home, Saya, Yuzu.’ Ruffling their hair (and ignoring simultaneous protest of ‘dad!’ and ‘I have plans for the evening!’) he asked. ‘How do you feel?’

Yuzuru considered running away into his years of experience with media, but. It was his father. His parent.

‘I feel like I should be somewhere else, but this thing still hurts.’

‘Changes of plans never came easy to you, did they? You always strived for what you’ve set for yourself.’ His father was smiling but there was concern in his eyes, and Yuzuru regretted shoving his problems on him. Where was his maturedness when he needed it. ‘Well, that’s a good trait.’

‘If you’re going to have that manly talk in the entrance door, both house and the food will get cold.’ his mother piped in, and Yuzuru felt a wave of relief at hearing her voice with notes of teasing in it. She had to be pleased, her family was back together (before he’ll split them again-he forcefully shoved the thought out of his head; they talked about it countless times), and she finally could cook in a more comfortable amounts.

Upon sitting down, Yuzuru discovered his plate is missing, only to relocalize it in Saya’s grasp.

‘You have a cheat day, and no buts.’ she announced, shoving pieces of chicken onto it. ‘You’re going to eat all of it, and no whining to mom that you’re full like always.’

Before he was able to protest, his father piped in.

‘Not that, Saya.’ he stopped her before she could put some vegetables on his plate, redirecting her to... fried tofu and pork?

Noticing Yuzuru’s questioning look, he smiled a little, accepting the rice bowl offered by Mrs Hanyu.

‘Kikuchi-san contacted me, saying what you need to get into your diet to speed up your ankle’s recovery. Apparently, protein and amino acids are good also for strenghtening already good muscles. Since you had to maintain the balance between amount of muscles and their flexibility, dietetician didn’t add enough of them to include those needed for regenerating micro damage.’ he frowned in thought. ‘Or something like that. Anyway, it’s pork and tofu for you, and eggs whenever your mother has a chance. Better be grateful to her, I called her only after finishing work, so she really had no time to adjust the dinner so much...’

‘I am. Really.’ his eyes burned and his chest constricted as he stared at a mountain of food in front of him.

Saya looked surprisingly proud of herself.

His mother smiled, looking at two of them, shoving her husband gently.

‘He is 22, love, don’t treat him like a teen. At least you.’

‘So you and Saya can spoil him, but I can’t have manly talk from time to time?’ his father mock pouted making Yumi chuckle. Yuzuru undersood he’s staring at the exchange like a thirsty man at the well, so he quickly looked back to his plate.

‘It was monologue, dad. A good one, but still monologue.’ Saya finished choosing her own diner with a glee. ‘Something I didn’t cook, yay!’

‘I’ll never understand what-’ his father started, but Saya didn’t seem to care as she dug into her meat.

‘Try to cook first, then we can talk.’

‘Don’t do that.’ instantly interjected Yumi, earning amused glance from her husband. ‘I want my kitchen in one place when I get back, and while I feel safe entrusting it to you, he is a walking disaster, a trait passed on his son.’

‘I’m not that bad!’ Yuzuru whined, feeling as his muscles relax. This topic, they squabbled over it countless times; it was normal, it was comforting. His mother shot him unimpressed stare.

‘Making a hot chocolate isn’t cooking. Even if you did it afterwards to me as well.’ she added as a compensation.

‘Ma, ma’ Said Saya, choking with laughter (and rice). ‘I guess it’s some kind of progress. He’s no longer only shoving it around?’

‘It was tempering.’ Yuzuru insisted over piece of chicken that made his eyes water. Karaage just didn’t taste the same in Canada.’And it actually was pretty hard.’

‘Harder than getting your pitch under control?’ Saya teased, and Yuzuru tried to shove her under the table, with satisfaction seeing her face.

‘You’re supposed not to jostle that, aren’t you?’

‘It was my left.’ he announced cheerfully, forgetting he had his adult ceremony more than two years ago.

‘Children.’ his mother gave each of them a sharp stare, making them return to their plates. Apparently, she too forgot about it.

‘Sorry.

‘Sorry, mom.’

His father sighed happily. Yuzuru, after a moment, couldn’t help but agree with him.

His fallen lutz and sensation of tearing pain in his ankle faded from his brain a little.

*

Of course, he didn’t eat everything Saya tried to shove into him.

*

His father ended up watching the replays with him, noting on Oda’s empty stare. Yuzuru winced, when he remembered-he didn’t send him a message yet. He just wasn’t feeling like lying to one of his friends, and his mood from before that dinner didn’t seem to allow him to send a sincere ‘I’m okay’ message. Technically he knew it was just another obstacle he had to overcome before gaining even more skills; technically he also knew how not to hurt himself on a quad.

Saya goes out after dinner, but returns before it gets too late, giggling, and then unceremoniously showing a paper in Yuzuru’s face. With Yuzuru’s face on it.

‘I want to go together!’ She proclaims cheerfully, ignoring the blush that spreads from Yuzuru’s neck upwards. ‘Seiichi says it’s well done, and, you know, he’s an artist!’

‘Doesn’t he says that only because he knows we’re related?’ Yuzuru grumbled, putting exhibition leaflet away.

His mother ends up picking it up and Yuzuru curses himself for not throwing it out as his mother’s expression softens.

‘I actually also want to see it. There os so much nerves during competitions my own photos usually come out blurry, if I even remember to take them at all.’

His father chuckles fondly, starting to openly laugh once he looks over to Yuzuru’s face.

‘I guess that it is decided, since our ladies wants that.’ he announces, and the youngest in the family muffles his whine in his hands.

He hopes Sunao-san’s sense will at least spare him some teasing that was just SURE to happen...

*

His father took an earlier shift the next day, and Yuzuru gave interview in the morning, filling his day quite easily until the official close time for the exhibition that doubled as the dinnertime for the family, after which they took off to the exhibition, Saya’s unending amusement at her brother stubborn crutch sprint not dimnishing even as they are met with a middle-aged photographer that seems to be bundle of nerves even as he greets Yuzuru and his mother, before introducing himself to the rest of his family.

Noto-san is the guide for their parents, as Saya takes off on her own, and Yuzuru, with soft suggestion from exhibition coproducer, goes over to the message corner. His crutches set aside he flips the cards one by one.

The earlier ones are a bit painful to read-they wish him easy repeat of his Triple Crown from 2014, so obviously they were written before his announcement, or even the fall (‘stop it’ he says to himself aloud, firmly pushing the memories and negative emotions away), but as they progress, they develop. Some are thank yous for Noto-san, but most is dedicated to him...wishing for his health, good condition, for him to achieve what he wants, for the good skate at Olympics...so that he got better soon. Some aren’t even in Japanese, he recognizes Russian and Korean letters, and slowly deciphers English messages (trying not to feel too proud to be able to understand all of them- it took him five years to get to that level after all), there are French(he recognises ‘merci’) and few others he isn’t even sure if he ever visited those countries; some are quotes-even from his interviews!- some are just heartfelt words of encouragement.

He feels the page under his hand get wet, and he huffs in irritation- Pooh-san stayed at home, so he wipes moisture from his eyes with the back of his hand. Seriously didn’t he cry enough already?

Keeping his injured leg off the floor, he fishes with one hand for his iPhone, with other he grips the pen set next to the visitor’s book.

‘Do you want to leave message as well, Hanyu-senshuu?’ Noto’s voice comes from his side, and Yuzuru nods. Photographer smiles and offers him a clean sheet of paper.

‘Then, maybe we will put it somewhere more visible.’ Yuzuru agrees after a moment of hesitation; he wants his words to stay close to his fans’, but if separating them means more of them will get to see his appreciation...

He is seated at the small table at Yumi’s insistence (his mother knows he’s a bit too grateful for anything and ends up not asking for things he technically could get...), and looks up the writing of those words he so far only used in spoken format. He snaps a quick photo once he’s finished and sends it with a short ‘Is Ok?’ to the only person he know that probably can answer correctly. Then he process to go and check out the actual exhibition, giving himself up for the unavoidable teasings.

Well, some of his competition faces ARE scary. Especially if he goes into or out of the jump...

He is amazed if he is being honest. The figures, the lines Noto-san catches in his photos take him straight back to when and where the photo was taken, without even needing to read the tags. Here is his smirk from PariSan, just before he breaks record with them for the first time. Here he’s obviously frustrated with himself for not doing enough...god, he was so young.

He comes face to face with his almost lopey grin while holding up gold, half transparent medal.

Sochi.

He unconsciously reaches out. He wasn’t thinking anymore about the mistake on the flip or the fallen Salchow back then, only thing that was on his mind was what he had managed to do, what that mean to Japan, to Tohoku...frustration with imperfections resurfaced later.

The-now Yuzuru squeezed his hand into a fist in front of the picture of gold medal, before definitely turning away from his nineteen-year-old self.

This time, he will have no regrets pushed aside by the weight of gold on his neck. This time, there will be no messed up flip, no clumsy Romeo, having to be saved by his Juliet in second half.

There will be only Seimei.

His Seimei.

*

He receives correction on his hangul only after they leave the exhibition (he forgot his other rinkmate also has rehab to attend) and groans.

He hopes the following message of 'They'll love it anyway' is really true.

**Author's Note:**

> May the great Seimei purify this season.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
